Hey Ladies! I’m fairly new to rgp and would love to pick your brains about what you’ve experienced in playing a male dominated game. I love the group I play with. I’m the only girl and it sounds like they have been a lot more respectful than in past campaigns when there were no female players. I’ve heard stories of female player’s characters taking a lot of crap from men in the groups. I really would just love to hear about your experiences, good, bad, whatever and who knows, maybe form a little community for ourselves.
I've been playing for about 20 years now. I guess whether the games are male-dominated depends largely on your location and your circle of friends. Here in the northern EU, my experience has been about 30-40% female, to 70-60% male I'd say. I have an extended circle of friends that forms shifting groups, but it's rare that I'm the only girl in the group. A lot fewer girls are GMing though, it seems to me. It's definitely skewed male, though, not sure why - maybe because it's historically a nerdy indoors activity? I observed that LARPs I go through tend to be evenly split 50/50...
About taking crap, I'm not sure it's gender-specific (or maybe I've been lucky). There are definitely constellations of players that work better together than others. The thing you have to keep in mind is that the pool of pen and paper roleplayers is very diverse, in pretty much every aspect. Expectations about the game vary a lot.
I have definitely seen some drama over the years, and I've consistently stayed out of it. It's supposed to be a group of people who come together to have an adventure in the spirit of friendship. Groups work best when they're like that. I had bad experiences with power gamers and attention hogs, and just generally grumpy people.
If I had one piece of advice to give, it's basically "treat others like you want to be treated". Or maybe "choose your friends wisely" ;)
This is an interesting topic. We, in my group, are 50/50, and I find males are very inclusive with us girls. Sadly, I heard not all are the same, some males just not accept that can be female players, and that annoys me. Their GMs even try kill us very hardly.
Speaking about GMs, like lucind said, female GMs are very rare. At least for me, can be hard lead the story, or even think about one. But I like being directed by a female GM.
i am totally new here! totally! how do u find a game and play? i have played on imig a lot but those games now are slow and dead. help!
@lesaw I think this site is more geared towards "bringing your existing group with you" than it is about finding one here. The public forums seem to be quite low traffic for that reason. I do see LFG posts sometimes, no idea how successful they are though...
I've GM'd since I was 15. That was 38yrs ago. Back then I did what ever newbie to the game has ever done, I dragged my friends into it. Since I was a girl, my fellow gamers were . . . . . . GIRLS! I didn't know this was a male dominated game until I was in my 40's. (I got married and quit playing until my daughters, yes daughters, got into the game.) Since then I've DM'd/GM'd a lot. I would say most of the guys are respectful, most of the girls are respectful, if you're a troll, I bounce you out. I've heard a few horror stories, most of them involve a whole lot of staring by young males playing other games at the same FLGS of very busty girls making said girls very uncomfortable. But, most of my experiences have been positive, and feedback once young men work up the courage to speak to me involves, "Wow! I didn't know girls played!", "Wow! I've delivered pizza here a ton of times and this is the first time I've ever seen girls playing!" (All girl table that particular game.) "Wow! I looked in and saw you guys playing! This is the first time I've ever seen girls playing and I just wanted to let you know I think it's great! I want to fully support you guys! That's my terrain on the back wall, you can borrow anything you want for your game!" So, I would say young men staring at girls isn't always because of your bust. A lot of guys really do want girls playing their games because it makes you easier to talk to. And yes, sometimes the play gets sexual. Sex has always been a part of the game. But, it should not be to the point of making you uncomfortable. And, imo, it really should be the GM's NPC's that receive the brunt of that with a hint and a curtain drawn before any details are described. The GM has ways of dealing with it that you don't. (Rolling a constitution check to see if you've got an STD has also always been a part of the game lol.)
I'm a 53-year-old guy, but as ismilealot posted her reply I felt like just stepping into your room here and adding that about exactly the same time as she started DMing her games back in the golden era of our hobby, so did I. I have over these many years had great experiences with mixed gaming groups, both guys and girls would approach me when I used to put up a small 8x11 sheet of paper on the local game stores bulletin board, and yes way back when it seemed to amaze guys when they sat down the first session and discovered they would be in a party with a girl. Some of the greatest adventures started over a cup of coffee and some dice. Just so you know on one particular occasion I was running an online game on an older site and encountered this spectacular player, she was warm witty and insightfully brilliant in her play style, she is now my wife and has been helping me plot and plan and play adventures throughout our married life. In this fast-paced world of cell phones and computers that are taking over our lives, it seems more and more, I really enjoy disconnecting and stepping into a bright fantasy landscape and watching the story unfold as I spin the yarns and my players unlock the secrets of sitting around the table and actually talking instead of impersonal texts, with so much as a set of dice and some simple stats on a sheet of paper you can be drawn into this exciting world where hero's can do amazing things and the darkness does not prevail over the champions of light, be they guy or girl they are champions to the cause, always ask, or you will never be in that group that you always see sitting by themselves in the corner of your local hobby shop.
I'm a 15 year old boy. I think I'm younger then all of you but I'm just here to lay an input. I've been playing custom D&D's with my friends. I've only played one D&D that had one girl in it (my first D&D btw) and she carried the group to the end of the campaign. Now I've been making my own D&D's and playing them with my friends. All I'm saying is where I'm at the girls in D&D are treated nicely. I'm sorry for you ladies out there that miss treated and stuff like that. I've never miss treated a girl or anyone that hasn't pissed me off.
I am new here. Into role' playing